The Sudoko of LIFE & The 12 Pathways.

In playing the daily puzzle Sudoko, your brain gets a good logical workout. It'’s like a crossword puzzle, only instead of finding the one and only word that fits, you need to find the one and only number that will go in a particular square.

The game of Sudoko dovetails into the larger game of life in that if you begin to view life as a giant Sudoko game, where you'’re constantly trying to find the right action to take, the right words to say, the right reaction to have, the right way to think.

The solution you'’re looking for is to merge with the Unity of the Zone. The Zone is the space, where your ego is immersed in the totality of BEING. In laymen's terms, it's called being a peace with yourself, your God, your higher power. It goes by many names.

Often I will get to a point where it'’s too hard to figure out. Solving the puzzle would require giant trail and error efforts to solve. At this point, the addiction to solving the puzzle kicks in and in the Giant Game of the Sudoko of LIFE, the right answer is to give up and focus on something else. Some might quibble that you should never give up. Why not? What does it get me to solve the puzzle. There are far more important things to do in life that solve a difficult puzzle to my demanding ego'’s satisfaction, As I reach that impasse where I'’m chiding myself for being a quitter, I can apply another pathway: accepting myself no matter what. I don'’t have to reject myself because I'’m not smart enough to solve the tough puzzle.

Surely, there are Einstein’s out there who could solve the puzzle lickety split. And then there are mentally retarded adults out there, who probably could never even solve the simplest puzzles. I am somewhere in the middle. Sure, I like the challenge, but it'’s just a game. My preference might be that I be smart enough to solve the toughest puzzle, but how important is that to me. So I can recite a few pathways, and immediately I cease to make myself upset over my failure to solve the puzzle, and in doing so, solve or find the solution to that point in my life.

At each step, there is a pathway or an idea built in the Science of Happiness as taught by the late Ken Keyes, Jr. in his seminal work: The Handbook to Higher Consciousness, that fits the situation, and the metaphor is that each time we figure out what pathway or what addiction we need to reprogram or however it is we handle the situation, we have found the solution for that “spot in our life.

The pathways are statements or affirmations that help steer you away from thoughts and behaviors aimed a lower consciousness level solutions to unhappiness. Here are the pathways:

1. I am freeing myself from security, sensation, and power addictions which make me try to forcefully control situations, thus destroying my serenity and keeps me from loving myself as well as others.

2. I am discovering how my consciousness dominating addictions create my illusory version of the changing world of people and situations around me.

3. I welcome the opportunity, even if painful, that my minute-to-minute experience offers me in order to become aware of the addictions I must reprogram in order to liberate myself from robot-like emotional patterns.

4. I always remember I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now, unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands & expectations based on the dead past or imagined future.

5. I take full responsibility for everything I experience here and now for it is my own programming that creates my own actions and influences the reactions of people around me.

6. I accept myself completely here and now and consciously experience everything I think, feel, do, and say as a necessary part of my growth into higher consciousness.

7. I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to communicate my deepest feelings since hiding in any degree keeps me stuck in the illusion of separateness from other people.

8. I feel w/ loving compassion the problems of other people w/out emotionally getting caught up in thepredicamentsnts which are offering messages which they need for growth.

9. I act freely when tuned-in, calm, centered, and loving, however if possible, avoid acting if emotionally upset and thus depriving myself of the wisdom that flows from love & expanded consciousness.

10. I am continually calming the restless scanning of my rational mind in order to perceive the finer energies which enable me to unitively merge with everything around me.

11. I am constantly aware of which of the seven centers of consciousness I am using and feel my peace, love, energy and effectiveness grow as I open all my centers of consciousness.

12. I am perceiving everyone including myself as an awakening being here to claim his or her birthright to higher consciousness planes of unconditional love & oneness.

For Christians, the phrasing might be a little different, but it still works. If you look the core of all religions they are all the same, just Submitting to the will of God involves surrending the desires and addictions of our models of how life should be. Prayers are like preferences and just as when prayers arenÂ’t answered, you tell yourself that God's will is God's will i.e. there is a reason and purpose for everything.

Waterlion Books, Looking Blue Pressworks and Flow Control.

Updates from Joe Rossi & Flow Control

I kind of like the idea of doing a show on the Joe Rossi Report that features the music of Double Down. From Dylan and the Stone Roses, to The Eagles, Grateful Dead, Paul Williams, Beatles, Alice-in-Chains, Oasis, and The Doors. The Joe Rossi Report airs on glpradio.com from 3 to 6 p.m. CST. We've been featuring the music of our good friend Byron, as well as a cut Dave Osti recommended we download. It's a ripping hot song called Brown Eyed Suzy.

BTW, my dreamcast for Double Down now includes Hillary Duff as the Sugar Spun-Sister. For Louie I think the perfect candidate is Wilmer Valderrama, who plays Fez on That Seventies Show. Perhaps Jim Carrey could play the Rooster. I'm not sure about Jack, though Bruce Willis would be cool Harrison Ford is just too old. Same with Mel Gibson. I might add, Drew Barrymore was for the longest time Ginny, but she's getting too old. Hillary Duff for a few more years, would be perfect.

• In other far out news, we have learned that Margaret, our dear friend Margaret is expecting, thus making our dear friend Judy, a soon-to-be Grandma, which is cool news. Really cool news.
  
  
• From out of nowhere, a blast from the doors chat past, the cat that flew by double V, a guy I was really hoping to hear from you see. He's doing cool and is happy, and that makes my day. That pushes the number to three, the number of friends who have contacted me because of my post a few months back in July: The Missing.
  
  
• Still waiting to hear from Marshall Nagle, Suzanne Sellers, Doug Maas, ... among others.
  
  
• Tweaking and fine tuning Double Down at lulu.com and the storefront for Looking Blue Pressworks. Check out http://lulu.com/lookingblue.
  
  
  
• A printed version of P.S. kiss the Duchess For Me is coming soon!
  
  
  Yes, typing lookingblue sparked in me the realization I wanted to talk about how I was reaching back into my past, to look for names of my Imprint, as I venture forth with this self-publishing effort. And that of course made realize that in among others includes Ken Whiteley, guitarist extraordinaire and founding member of the Looking Blue the band that recorded Rock & Roll Socks, and Round, Black Eyes. I miss Ken.

And it also makes me think of Tree, because I always loved the name of the song Waterlion, and think that's a fine name for an imprint: Waterlion Books. She had written a song called Waterline, and I misheard her when she told me the name, and she liked Waterlion better. It was a great song, in fact. Somewhere around I have a cassette copy. Ken Whiteley, myself, Tree and a few others, like Terry Burke, and Doug Maas, played in a band called Loose Connection. Tree was the female vocalist who succeeded Pamela Rasada, another name and face I haven't talked to in some time.

Finally, Flow Control. Flow Control is what I do for UPS. I am a flow controller. I kind of like the way that sounds: Flow Control. Flow Control Books doesn't work, but if ever have another band, it just could be: Joe Rossi & Flow Control.


Yeah, right.

Happy Holidays! & Merry XMAS, & all that wonderful jazz!

The Joe Rossi Report on INTERNET RADIO

Ok, it's part deadhead hour, part anything I feel like playing hour, and then some. Until I can get the kinks worked out on the microphone end, I'm not comfortable doing the live talk format I want to do. Still hopefully soon, the Joe Rossi Report on glpradio will feature live broadcasts of some really cool jams, spoken word, poetry, political commentary as well as complete goofiness.

Elbop THRIVES

A long time ago, in a city called Pasadena.. so far far away... I knew a naked cat named Elbop.
His art and his spirit thrive.

Double Down! A Rock & Roll Road Novel

Maybe you''ve heard of or even read Double Down--a Rock & Roll Road Novel--or maybe not. No doubt if you know me, you might be aware of it. Well, for only $1.99 you can download a .pdf file of it at lulu.com. As this is my first venture into the world of online publishing and print-on-demand publishing your support would be appreciated. The book is available as well as 6x9 paperback for less than $10. My good friend Skye has whipped some deliciously dark and dreamlike artwork for the cover.

Double Down was born in the wake of the movie Pulp Fiction's commercial success, during an outing to Laughlin Nevada, where I played black jack. It is deliberately cartoonish, as well as melodramatic. It seeks to entertain while at the same time serving as what Al Franken calls "nutritious candy." It matters little to me lately, that some of the plot, dialogue or events might seem a bit absurd, having watched Pulp Fiction again; and having seen what passes for entertainment from Hollywood these days, with films like Herbie Reloaded, which I watched at my kid's school on movie night this past weekend.

What can I say about a book features the word "shit," twice in the first paragraph and the very last sentence has the word hell in it. I can say that in between the shit and hell, is plenty of gratuitous cartoonish violence, graphic sex, drugs, rock and roll, foul language, gambling, pornography, and heady heated, discussions about all of the above, then some, with sporadic dialogue concerning the meaning of life, love, god and war.

Double Down is Austin Powers meets Pulp Fiction. It is absurd in the ways these films seem absurd. It is darker than Austin Powers, but not nearly as sadistic as Pulp Fiction. I mean if Doctor Evil can have a hideout carved out of a rock in a mountain, why can't Rooster have his hideaway in the Nevada desert? Clearly, there is a vision of a film at hand. I can see the "film" every time I play the song Sugar Spun Sister. I can see the way the film begins as well as the way it ends with another song by the Stone Roses, called I am The Resurrection. I can see the panaromas of the grand canyon, the white van streaming through the desertscapes. I can see Hillary Duff as Ginny. I can hear Jack's voice narrating here and there. I can see it all.

Double Down! A Rock & Roll Road Novel

The Joe Rossi Report on godlike Productions Internet Radio

Sundays from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Central Standard Time, I'll be doing a live Internet Radio show courtesy of the good folks over at GLP radio, the People's Radio. I
went live last week and played from a selection of music: everything from my own music, to the Doors, Grateful Dead, Stone Roses, Oasis, Selena, Eminem ... and so on.. hope to expand the show to include news commentary, spoken word, improvised poetry and the likes. So tune in every Sunday at glpradio.com for the Joe Rossi Report at 3 p.m. central standard time.

We tell each other fairy tales

We tell each other Fairy Tales

A lyric from a song keeps running through my head; the lyric captures the essence of how I view religion and the relationship believers have with each other when it comes to people of faith of all religions. The lyric is from Counting Crows Mr. Jones.

Mr. Jones and I tell each other fairy tales

Even some of the other lyrics fall magically into place.

I want to believe in something; I want to believe

Of course it'’s not a perfect fit but nothing ever is.

And in this scenario, the Christians tell fairy tales to the Muslims who tell their fairy tales to the Hindus and so on ad infinitum. And only the worst among each of these groups believes their particular fairy tale is THE ONLY TRUE FAIRY TALE, and that all other fairy tales are heresy and deceptions of the devil. These are the kinds of people who fly airplanes into buildings and seek constitutional amendments banning same sex marriages.

The less extreme are usually pretty decent people who go out of their way to respect and honor the differences in others's fairy tales and give these people the benefit of the doubt even if their fairy tales are different than their own. They perhaps subscribe to the idea that as long as they have a fairy tale they believe it's OK, because it's probably the same God, and they are just a little confused.

And the only people who are really suspect are the atheists and agnostics, cynics and skeptics who are reduced to shouting the Emperor wears no clothes. There are either inclined to say there is no God, or that the existence of God cannot be proved. And this is perfectly rational.

The Big Disconnect

I tend to believe in God, but not in any one set of beliefs. Because I have had countless experiences both induced and some just purely incidental in which things I've read in the Bible, snippets from other religions I've seen, maxims and adages expressed by sages and saints, ideas peddled in self-help books and on television make a whole lot of sense. My own spirituality is perhaps closer to Buddhism than anything else, in that I find the greatest peace and the greatest self-knowledge and clarity when I meditate. And in those experiences I unify with something that defies description. It's what the Taoists call the Tao that cannot be told.

By all means most people today are rational, logical, and even resigned to accepting science in most aspects of our lives. After all when we are ill we may go to church and pray but more importantly we go to a doctor. And if we are really sick we go to a hospital. And there we trust our mortal lives to those whose techniques and methods are based not on scriptures or fairy tales, but on solid science.

And when these same types of people come to us and tell us that we evolved, or that greenhouse gases are causing global warming, we put our hands to our ears and over our eyes, because we don't want to hear it. I mean right wing conservatives were OK with science when DNA testing proved that was Bill Clinton's semen on that blue dress, but not when science tells us we evolved, or that carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is causing global warming.

Rush Limblah & The Republican art of Symbolism over Substance

Awhile back, Rush Limblah went on at lengths comparing the Terri Schiavo situation to the Elian Gonzales situation in response to the idea that Jeb Bush should use his executive authority to raid the hospice in the same manner that Janet Reno used the FBI to seize Gonzales and return him to his father. I remember him saying it'’s a classic example of how the conservatives are always on the side of life and liberty. I mean after all they drew a line in the sand when it came to Terri Schiavo's life and Elian Gonzales' liberty.

I say it's a classic example of how the right chooses symbolism over substance. In other words, it's easier and manageable for the right to be on the side of one illegal immigrant when in serves their ideological purpose. But consider for a minute that west of Florida along the porous Mexican border, the Minutemen project is stirring passions, angst, and headlines. Would the right wing in this country be willing to open their arms to millions seeking a better life were they not economic refuges but political refugees? Maybe, the best thing that could happen in Mexico for those who want to flee their dire economic situation would be for the country to take a sharp left turn into the state of Marxism.

As for being on the side of life, I've always believed the right wing'’s obsession with abortion is due in part to the fact that it allows them to rally on the side of the underdog, without having to actually touch it, clothe it, feed it, or smell it. It's this abstraction; this potential person growing in someone else it. But once they are born, they are loathe to provide them with quality healthcare, or a decent education. So whether it'’s a fetus tucked away in someone's womb, or a brain-dead woman tucked away in a hospice in Florida, or a child stashed away in a relatives house, Republicans will rally around the individual in a so called stand for life or liberty, but its little more than grandstanding for the sake of scoring ideological points..

Further Proof that W is a true Dolt!

I think the hand-wringing over Harriet Miers speaks volumes about W's idiocy. I really think he thought all he had to do was nominate an evangelical who many would assume would overturn Roe W. Wade. I give credit to those conservatives who are questioning the wisdom of this move. It'’s like they'’re saying: What did you think all we care about is whether or not they will overturn Roe V. Wade? Actual judicial experience and constitutional law expertise are't important to us. Just give us that no vote to Roe V. Wade and we will be happy. Furthermore, to nominate someone from his own inner circle. What a dunderhead!

Driving to the sounds of my favorite tunes

Something about the Eminor chord and/or a good solid Em D major riff like in Oasis' What's The Story Morning Glory that makes me hear God in the music and see love in the fabric of the universe around me. Mornings are always mystical man, on my way to work at the ungodly hour of 2:30 A.M. to work the UPS preload, I enjoy a clarity of thought and superb vision.

Man, the letters I write; the stories I tell, in the first, few fresh hours of the day. But by the time I get home to actually be able to write and have some time for myself, I am just so burned out. I try to make lists, and reminders of all the things I've thought during the day, but it becomes hard to focus.

Much of my focus lately has been on Duchess. As well, I have published a version of Double Down at lulu.com. I went ahead and ordered one hard copy book. I want to see the finished product before I make a bigger and bolder leap in trying to get folks to check it out there, or purchase it.

P.S. Kiss The Duchess For Me and Godlike Productions Radio

Well, I am of the mind, in this day and age, that is story is the most important story I can tell. I have often grappled with the dilemma and that is that attempting to use this story to achieve some sort of greater financial security is not appropriate as these letters were quite personal, and yet at the same time, I find that the things I do do for money, to earn a living, so to speak, mean so little to me, that I begin to hate them.

I do want to publish Double Down and write more, for a living, if I can ever get back into that game. I am also intrigued by a long time friend's foray into Internet Radio.
He'd like me to provide some content. I have long been brewing this idea that I could do some cool stuff over the Internet. Maybe, this is fate calling.

Lovely Rita

Near the corner of Sweet Leaf and Dreamtime.I've always wanted to toss that out as that is the truth. I live on Sweet Leaf lane, just a few doors away from Dreamtime. The builders have a tea motif thing going on, as you can tell.

This has nothing to do with Rita. I've just always wanted to work that into something I posted to my blog. It's very surreal here in Austin. The supermarket shelves are bare of certain necessities. A co-worker who has a second job at target described chaos and panic as customers grabbed batteries and bottled water.

It's the end of the world as we know it, keeps playing inside my head as does Dylan's Hurricane. This the story of the hurricane.

We should be OK here in Austin, though I feel a bit evil for not wanting to it to drift so far to the east. We need the rain. You should see my water bill. We should see some rain and high winds. I do feel rather silly because I have a case of Ozarka water in our pantry. It's like I really didn't think it was necessary, but then when everybody else was doing it, I thought: well maybe they know something I don't, and figured better safe then sorry.

Anyway it's about 9 p.m. and she's washing ashore, somewhere just over there. We have about 50 zillion people from the Houston area in town. I feel kind of bad, because we're not putting anybody up, but then, we don't know really anyone from that area, and I'm not gonna house strangers.

Anyway it's very surreal here, with all the Katrina refugees and not those trying to dodge Rita's bullet. I'll try to keep you posted, and I'll let you know if we ever needed that Ozarka water.

dark words combine

dark words collide
combine
with crimson brides
and history holds a fist hard & cold
slaps you with it in your time
will take you, render the rest blind

and history folds
on easy folklore scolds
a whipping so brutal
and nobody can tell
nobody nothing for it
after it all goes down.

speechless .... really ... I'm lost on the sadness of it all

Louisiana... words fail me.. this hits so close to home, feels so damn strong..yet it could be anywhere, happens all the time, in different places.

A whole city wiped away. Whole lives. Just swept away.

I'm noticing annoying spam. Hopefully I've taken care of it.

Much going on, life just heaves itself forward.

The Birth of Tribe and other trivia

truth be known, it was Sohum, myself and Bee, of i2iproductions, along the blazing SKYE, that first conceived of Tribe as a creative online zine for a bunch of us original doors chatters back in the last millennium. It soon took on a life of its own under the guidance, care and love, of Crystalheart and Poe Sparrow where it metamorphosed into tribal soul kitchen in its current 21st century state.

Small World Tec

Man, everyday in the midst of my life when I have those periodic flashes of remembering what I remember when I am in that state, I remember thatIT is really about LOVE. About love and friendship and I keep thinking I need to focus on the friends in my life and the people in my life.

Like Sohum, for instance. Otherwise known as the Byron. He does web hosting and has hosted my site for years. Check out site: smallworldtec.com

and there's our mutual friend, out amongst the snowcaps of Tahoe and the whirl of the gambling scene, doing his own web-hosting thang: http://www.i2iproductions.com

Two more classics ...

... still recall the deadhead days with nostalgia and longing. So many roads ... so many roads.
Music calls out to me. I listen to radio, mostly to Bob FM, a variant of Jack FM, only his catch is "He Plays Anything." I hear chords, music. I can feel it sometimes. Alas, I digress: two more stickers from my days as a deadhead vendor.

BUY THIS STICKER!!!

If only I could channel my thoughts

If only I could channel my thoughts from throughout the day. There's so much I'd like to do with this blog but by the time I am home, I am pretty much wiped out, mentally, to really create the kind of expositions I am yearning to do.

So many topical issues. So much going on. The tragedy in Louisiana, so close to Austin, yet a world away. The price of gas is through the roof. I am about to the point, where I am going to quit driving till it comes back down, and stay home and write and hope to make a go of it, and see what happens. Seems like I am getting some hits. It's hard to tell from where, but I appreciate folks stopping in for a readsy.

Much on my mind. What's up with Marshall Nagle. How about Ken Whiteley? Is he still playing guitar? Suzanne Sellers???

Got a letter from Eric and Margaret. They're in Latvia, Eric's ancestral homeland. Hi guys!!! Thanks for the card. Makes me think about Judy. She has family in New Orleans, her mother I believe. I hope she is OK!

Ok, that's all for now.

Just yesterday morning I heard you were gone ....

Actually, kind of amazed and grateful that it would seem people are reading my blog and commenting on some of the things I have to say. Also, am aware it might come across as a big WHINE. Oh, sometimes I need to get things off my chest.

How about Matthew Kahler??? Old friends indeed. I love this man’s music and every time I hear James Taylor on the radio, it kind of breaks my heart, because I came across Matthew’s website and have tried contacting him several times, and it’s like he can’t bother. Shrugs. Ironic because the song I hear most is “Fire and Rain.”

Still, Matthew is great. Whatever. Check out his website at www.matthewkahler.com

Then there’s Sean Hennigan. Rocky tells me he’s mad at me about something, not sure what, but Rocky don’t want to get in the middle of it.

Heard from Dave Osti and that just blew my mind. He saw his name on my list of names and dropped me a line. The man is a fantastic musician. Coming into contact with him brought back tons of memories.

It's about the sex, stupid!

What was the slogan in Clinton's 1991 campaign? A similar slogan occurs to me these days--almost every day--when I'm confronted with the daily news of violence related to the middle east. Because for me, I think it's about the sex. About the love. About the umpteen virgins in the afterlife. People capable of such suicidal destruction have no joy in this life, no feelings of connectedness. Even sexuality is buried beneath a veil, the burqa. The flesh is evil and imprisoned. These people are miserable because they hate their bodies, their own corporeal nature and the demands of the flesh.

They have no jobs, no livelihood, no hope. Is it no wonder they see martyrdom then as a way to say "just fuck it all!" It's about the love stupid, or lackthereof.

Anyway, A lot is going on, and as well I'm extremely busy. The video "Help Somebody," by the Van Zant brothers, is number 2 on the country music channel!!! Jerry is one of the two little boys; the littler one.

UPS is keeping me pretty busy. I'm always amazed at the mixture of emotions I feel for working for UPS. Sometimes, it's all about the people, the different people I interact with everyday. The sense of teamwork and camaraderie. At the same time, there is always the sense of being taken for granted. I can't believe the price of gas these days. I wonder how the people who are responsible for how we are compensated, can sleep at night, knowing that they have done nothing to offset the deep impact the price of gas is having on our pocketbooks!

I got an email from Dave Osti. Amazing. Fucking amazing. What an amazing musician. His email brought back a ton of memories. How we had him play drums in the studio for Heaven Can't Make Up Her Mind. All the memories. Fuck. Ok that's all for now.

the Gigi spot

the Gigi spot

In-N-Out Burger: What an Austin hamburger could be about!

I keep having this recurring fantasy that somehow I am able to convince the famiy that owns the In-N-Out hamburger empire out of Baldwin Park Calif. let's me open up a store for them in Austin Texas, where I have been living for the past ten years. Everytime I go out to California for a family visit, I can't count how many times we stop in for a Park-N-Wait burger. I say that with tongue in cheek because regardless of how much I love In-N-Out burgers, they're name is
very misleading. It's more like In-N-Wait-Wait-Wait-Out. But it's oh so worth the wait.

And so I envision the massive lines and profits, as I manage the company's one and only store east of Nevada. I checked the website and no, they don't franchise. I suppose if I could get them to trust me, maybe they'd let me open up a store, but it seems like the empire is limited to three states: California, Nevada, and Utah. And from what I can tell the only way I could gain their trust would be to provide proof of church attenance and quoting the proper biblical scripture, as the owners are reportedly quite religious, and print cryptic references to biblical scripture on their packaging.

So until my next trip out west, I can only dream. And to my fellow Austinites, no Whataburger doesn't even come close, nor does Dan or Fran!

Beyond The Grave

Beyond The Grave

One of the first articulate and real blogs I've come across. Seems like there's a form of blogspam out there: sites that really are just advertisements. Finally, somebody real.

P.S. Kiss The Duchess For Me

As I explore this blogging experience, I hope to illustrate and outline some of my projects and concepts, and new ways to share and promote them. Many are familiar with the book about my grandfather-P.S. Kiss The Duchess For Me-and though I have it linked to the right, as a way to keep it fresh I am experimenting with the link feature in my posts.

One day I hope to publish it in a hard volume. On one of my trips home I came across a complete copy of the manuscript as well as correspondence documenting the lengths to which my late mother, the duchess, went to in trying to get it published and/or turned into a movie. Included is correspondence between folks such as Tom Brokaw and Stevenn Spielberg's production company. And that is what strikes me the most about it, when I read, that it really is a classic story just begging to be turned into something more!

The Missing: A Names Project of Sorts

What a long strange trip down memory lane. Below is a list of people in my past; people I remember as friends, acquaintances, partners perhaps in musical or literary endeavors. Friends from my days at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, or the Pasadena Weekly. Band members, girl friends and one night stands. Platonic, and otherwise, the list goes on. And then there is the online world; with countless faceless strangers I came to know only as lines on a screen, a pen name and the abstract product of their minds: their words, in that transitory, fleeting virtual social scene called cyberspace. This list is far from complete and will continue to grow as I brainstorm and look back on the past decades. If you’re on the list, you may even be somebody I’m still very much in contact with. I wanted to be inclusive as well as comprehensive. Some names and faces gave way to others in sort of a free association. Often the last name eluded me. Or even the whole name. Or maybe all I have is your online personality.

Hopefully, maybe some of these folks will stumble across this blog while doing a search on their name. Others may have already passed on. And that is the sad thing about life, as you grow older. There is less and less time to play catch up with old friends. Some friends to me are virtually dead i.e. I'll probably never see them alive again and that in a way invokes an ongoing sense of mourning. It's like you never had the chance to say goodbye. So if you're name is on this list, then you're someone I still remember, still remember fondly, and I hope you are faring well as you grow in life. Think about dropping me a line or email. I’d love to hear from you.

• Doug Maas
• Leslie Mylius
• John Temple
• Ken Whiteley
• Marshall Nagle
• Tami Bond
• Mark Comings
• Scott Comings
• Bob Greenwald
• Vicki Anderson
• Janie Richter
• Maceo Campbell
• Dane Johnson
• Dan Hirschi
• Jody Powell
• Shannon of the Presenters
• Jay with the wild mohawk
  
• Terry Burke
• Suzanne Sellers
• Andrea Kelly
  
• James Martin
• Reagan Young
• Goo
• Trish
• Jeff Lasee
• Carnival Dog
  
• Patricia Tree Gladwyne
• Pamela Rasada
• Lee Ann Kelly
• Teresa Peterson
• Greg Harrington
• Ted Bishop
• Jim Archibald
• Michele Bauer
  
• Russell and Cathy Masunaga
• Jeremy Bates
• Greg Bishop
• Billy Kohn
• Jerry Montanino
• Rick Swanson
• Jim Burhans
• Bruce & Kecia
• Matthew Kahler
• Robin Hurt
• Jeff Skaletsky
• Geoff Martin
• Sean Hennigan
• Rocky Armstrong
• Warren Brunelle
• The Craig that worked at JPL
• Doriandra
  
• Craig Bartholomew
• Lisa Cox
• Mike and Shelly Newman
• Shawn Adams
• Dave Feldhouse
• Rick Ballou
• Robb Shinn
• Dawn Tamarabuki
• Michele Bauer
• Jamie Jameson Buehler
• Kerstin Hege
• Michele Broder
• Chris Broder
• Donna Skinner
• Dave Osti
• Marci
• Amy Armstrong
• Kim Smiles And Allen, of course.
  
• Phillip
• Ben Lovejoy
• Rick Garabedian
• Andy Annas
• Steve Seine
• Chris Wing
• Dan O'Heron
• Rich Gowen
• Michael Wenzel
• Brian Sierant
• Mark Hill
• Melanie Horton
• Tim Horton
• Tish Horton
• Bob Hezlep
• Andy Livingston
• Steve Gormely
• Kevin Steger
• Devin Thomas
• Robb Shinn
• Mary Tartaglione
• Dave Davis
• Ross Curtright
• Gary & Jack from JPL
• Eric the Street Poet From Berkeley
• Nancy from JPL
• The Bubble Lady from Berkeley
• Sue Overman
• Jeff Wood
• Ann and Jeff Krogen
• Bill & Sharon Weisman
• Lori Hardy
• Judy Desmoreaux
• Margaret & Eric Jeurmanis
• Brian Markovich
• Arnie and Sherry Greif (Fractalvision)
• The Cubensis Crowd
• Byron and Sylvia Velasquez
• Geoff Gwynn
• Bill Sweetland
• Adriana Galvan
• Besty Dabbs
• Stella Blue
• Raelle Soares
• Sea Angel
• Cadillac Jack
• JT Westfield
  
• The Mininsters Daughter
• That happy black deadhead from the deadshow parking lots
• Mark Ferris
• Poe Sparrow
• Crystalheart
• Skye
• Sally
• Maggie McGill
• The Wharf Rat "Wharfie"
• Eric who worked at Sony with Brian
• Craig Marshall
  
• Chief Broom
  
• Cindy Price
• Don Franklin
• Joe From Common Denominator
• Sillohuette
• Zephyr
• Love Child
• Smiley
• Quemby
• Matthew Kahler
• Arpi From Ozland
• Lance Powell
• Diane Rodriguez
• Trish Powell
  
• Heidi Nakamura
• Glenn Holland
• Tim Hagelganz
• Bill Evans
• Serena Wild Love
• Andrea from FLA
• Ernest Rubio
• Chris Bray
• Burt Voorhees
• The Presenters
• Coda Jada Queen
• Hyperview
• John Range
• Gary Pittman Jr.
• Lawayna
• Jeremy Goode
• Carlos
• Chris S.C.
  
• Mike Mulligan
• Lisa Green
• John Willis
• Diane Caputo
• Sherry
• Tammy Trips
• Billy Dale
• Mark Masonovich
• Nadine Patterson
• Lori Phaff
• Ravenshadow
• Thomas the Poet from the Golden Days of Dchat
• Bardman
• Debbie from MASS (kevin's beau)
• Beth Scully
• Eric From Sony
• Eric Rittenhouse
• His hot sister
• Scott whatshisname first drummer for looking blue boyfriend of his hot sister (Shawna?)
  
• all the people I am forgetting that will be on this list tomorrow.
• shit I know somebody that i shouldn't ...
  
• and more names tomorrow ...
  

And so I sit here amazed at my own continued awakening to my self awareness here inside this three dimensional theater of life. It's a fleeting sense of being a part of something greater, beyond me that is in the process of moving itself forward through the parade of history towards apocalypse, the Big Bang but an image glanced at in the rear view mirror. And I am a part of that which happens in between the alpha and omega. It's like I withdraw into what Ken Keyes Jr. calls the witness center where I am just watching my own self as well as how my self interacts with other. And it's like I can't really remove myself from the play, and the words of the song The Wheel by Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead echo in my head: You can't hold on and you can let go, you can't go back and you can't stand sill, and everything time that wheel turn around, we're bound to cover just a little more ground.

Disneyland: The most expensive place on Earth!!!

Disneyland: that destination of all destinations in Southern California is by far the most stressful place on earth along with the most expensive place on earth, especially if you're traveling with those that Disney caters to most: children.

As I remarked to my sister it's amazing how much they'll charge you for admission in order to enjoy the privilege of paying $7 for a tall slurpie, $3 for a bag of chips, $30 for a t-shirt that cost $2 to make. Add to the mix the demands of children going in every direction at once. He wants to go to Toon Town; she wants him to go on the Pirates of the Caribeean; he thinks that ride is too scary. The nephew needs to go the bathroom.

I'll tell you what's scary. Paying $5 for a Big Mac at the Paraside Pier inside the new California Experience. Ironic, because our hotel sat right door to a McDonalds, across the street from the park. A big mac there was the normal price.


Random thoughts

• Obviously, Alberto Gonazles, Bush's A.G., is pro-choice. I never read it anywhere but all of a sudden, the man most Democrats did not want to see become attorney general, is not the darling of the right, and folks such as Harry Reid, are singing his praises as a possible Supremie.
• That sick, twisted fuck, Joseph Edward Duncan III, MUST have wanted to get caught. Clearly, marching into Denny's at 2 a.m. with Shasta, in the same town she went missing from, was either calculated or incredibly stupid. I say the former in what I believe is a step he is making towards his ultimate goal: his own demise. I am still against capital punishment, but I wouldn't blame the father one bit, if he walked into this guy's cell and sent him on his way point blank.
• LONDON, England. Here's what I can stand about religious fundamentalism. Get the fuck over it! What do you think you will accomplish. And quit it with the Allah Akbar crap. Killing people is not something God is about. And that goes for you who would have God nailing his son to a cross to atone for mankind's sins. I just don't get it. Why on earth is the Prince of Peace, the God of Love, so freaking blood-thirsty in your minds. May I burn in hell for asking, what's so bad about peace, love & understanding?

MCI--The Worst Company of the Month, the Year, possibly All TIME!

My wife worked for MCI for the past five months or so! What a horrible, demeaning and insulting outfit to work for. She was let go yesterday, because she failed to make her "lines" for the cycle. A line is a sale of their services. The company continues to telemarket its services via pushy, heavy-handed sales pitches. Those who fail to make their lines are humiliated with a mid-day termination, in front of other employees.

My wife tried extra hard to make her lines, by working late, going back in after she put our daughter down to bed. Get this: at one point my wife took a day off because Alexia was sick. She was reprimanded for "not having her priorities in order." A friend remarked to me when I told her the story, "Apparently she DOES have her priorities in order!"

She laughs when she talks about how she got her mother to switch to MCI, only to have her mother switch back to SBC, after MCI failed to live up to its promises. I think that explains why making lines for the company only gets harder and harder. They have a lousy product. Period. So they continue to drive their employees to snag new customers. My advice to you: When MCI calls, just HANG UP THE PHONE.

Meditation Versus Prayer

I am beginning to realize the greatest spiritual practice is mediation. If prayer is sort of talking to God, I would characterize meditation as listening to God. Calming the restless chatter of your mind is key to tuning into the bigger picture of who/what we are, and escaping the selfish demands of the Ego.

A friend of mine asked me to pray for her. And while I am inclined to oblige her, I tend to question its true usefulness. I do think prayer can be powerful because I put in the same category as "think good thoughts." It puts out a good vibration. But I shy away from the idea of God as some sort of magic genie there to respond to transitory requests of favor. I think perhaps the most appropriate prayer is not for external events, but for inner peace, wisdom and understanding.

I might add, though, in the interest of full disclosure, that I am apt to ask this friend to pray for me. I guess because this makes her feel that she is helping out, and doing what she believes is the appropriate response in the situation.

But still, as Jim Morrison says in the intro the Soft Parade, "You cannot petition the Lord with Prayer." To me this means, that the divine is not some sort of magic genie ballot counter, as if prayers were votes or signatures on a petition drive.

Your comments?

Movie Madness

Well, we can see that the box office is in a slump. I think that is just fine. In fact it is quite a come uppance for this industry, which has exploited movie goers for years. Who among us is not tired of being gouged at the snack counter with $2 cokes, $3 popcorn, and $5 hot dogs? $7-$10 the price of admission?

In the age of Clarkanomics (Yes I'm a big Clark Howard Fan) doesn't it make more sense to give a new film a few months to go to video and then it rent it. You do the math. A movie costs how much per person in the theater? Contrast that with what you will pay to rent it multiplied by however many people want to see it. Store bought popcorn, sodas and snacks, even full blown meals!

Yes, this is welcome news indeed!

Elbop's Quail Mandala

Me and The Gang

Ten Days Later ...

Well, it's a good thing I'm not getting too many hits, because as you can see not much is happening here. It's hard to find the time to do this right. Still, I am resolved to make this a good blog and a launching pad for something really cool.

Focus on the WRITING!!!!

I've got stories to tell and things to write. Check back soon and check back often.

Meditation

Really, there is no comparison to mediation, and no more important practice. It all comes down to that. Because you really must have these insights yourself, and not get them second hand from the neighborhood church, mosque, temple or 12 step group. It cannot be taught very well, and when it's tried, it tends to fail and produce all sorts of baggage.

Work in progress

The Problem of Evil.

Life is evil. It is evil to live. The very nature of being alive is in fact evil. Our selves, animals, plants, beings, all competing and working within boundaries to feed off the other, either for each other or against each other. But make no mistake. There is a food chain. There is pleasure and pain. Winners and losers. The eater and the eaten.

Ever wipe out an ant hill. Squashed a bug? Guess what? You’re evil. You’re Hitler to a a bunch of ants. You gassed whole populations to death in your apt. Somehow because we have all these senses and we’re self aware, we are special; better than all the rest. And that is the argument
for moral relativism. There is always moral relativism.

That’s how you understand a killer. Just imagine your own sense of detachment towards killing a bug. I don’t understand killing. I couldn’t ever. Kill a person. Never. But I can eat a steak. Step on a spider. No problem.

I find myself thinking that all religion looks really stupid in many ways: it’s like its
My fairy tale versus your fairy tale mentality. I mean do you Christians really think you’ll walk through the clouds to shake the hands of a bearded, glowing-man with a magnificent robed Old Man father by his side. Do Muslims really expect umpteen virgins? So, is that heaven then? Pussy.

And I know that’s what the Middle East needs. A little lighter on the religion. What they need is love. They have their religion. There’s something about the state of a man in that religion. Makes him prone to a life of desperation. Of being in need of a woman’s touch, an open touch. Their physical nature is buried under cloak and veils. The flesh is imprisoned. Is shameful. They come home to their empty homes. No electricity. Little food. All they have is their religion; their hope.

We are successful in the West not because of Chistianity so much, but because of freedom. Because we our free to satisfy our needs; therefore really, we are less belligerent. Capitalism, free enteprise and freedom of speech. Less sublimating our frustrations into Jihad. There’s an old expression: be nice to your lizard i.e. be nice to your nature, your animal needs, but with a measure of self-control.

I think this repression of sexuality, which I believe Wilhelm Reich wrote about in a box I once read called The Murder of Christ , is symptomized in everything from the Catholic Church Priest Sex Scandal, to the brutality of the Islamic Jihadist.

Two kinds of evil?

Are there not two kinds of evil in the world? There is the evil of desire; of wanting things: love, sex, good fine food, luxury, drugs, ego trips, power. A wickedness characterized by wanton disregard for how your consumption and power trips affect others.

And there is hatred. Pure hatred. Hatred of self and hatred of others. Fear. Spiritual pride.
Obedience, but a bitter obedience; a fearful one.

I happen to believe that God will look different than anyone really realizes. It’s like hearing about a person you've never met and you’ve constructed this mental image of him or her in your mind, and when you finally meet them, while you feel like you still know them, you’re very surprised by what you've discovered. It’s like we’re all walking on this road, towards God, and none of us have ever been there before. Every now and then, someone shouts, I’ve been there; I’ve gone ahead and had a vision of what we’ll encounter when we get there.

But really it will all just depend upon your angle. And since every single one of has a unique perspective of God, our own, that by its very nature, by its very definition, is unique to us, to you and me and you alone. So don’t be surprised if you’re idea of God is different from your neighbor. Just remember: he has a different perspective of you. To some God is Jesus, or a White Light, or the Force, or Buddha, or the Tao, or Allah. Or then there are some who say God doesn’t exist … well that’s their perspective. Maybe there’s a bush in their way. Maybe, they are right. It is said with utmost humility.

Sometimes I think there is No God, and this is THE God. A seeming contradiction, but then its based upon the void I experience when the world and it’s concerns and pressing issues and needs fall away, and there is this fullness, that isn’t preoccupied with anything, but content and one, and not in conflict with it’s environment or itself. It’s like I’m invisible, but higher than a kite.

Meditation. Good mediation brings it on. Sometimes I’ll wake from a dream and I’m there before the World sets in. Infinite joy. Wisdom. Bliss. Unity with God that is love.

And that love is like a void because it is not material; it’s spiritual. It’s a spiritual fullness that seems empty only because it’s not corporeal. And so that is the natural progression of things.
Back in the old days, the pagans and indians saw spirits in the animals and trees, or the early Greeks with their panthenon of gods. And then came the monotheists, and it wasn't many Gods,
but One God. And after that: no God? 3, 2, 1, 0

You realize that all the world is sending you all sorts of images and you’re like this bio chemical bio- automaton person with electrical currents, waves, processes, fluids, systems all working to produce a sense of self. But then you realize you’re sheer awareness that is feed all this information. That’s all you are: Awareness. The awareness of awareness and when you’re not bombarded with the world, then you just are the awareness with the illusion of a life, linear time, history.

You realize how amazing really this all is, that we happen to be here, alive on this planet. Your life; your experience is a unique one of a kind historical event. There will never be another one like you!

The Duchess's Birthday

June 7th, like December 15th, is a day I'll always remember and note because it is my mother's birthday. My mother, Marilyn Rossi, the duchess of P.S. Kiss The Duchess For Me fame, died December 15th, 2001 after a long battle with cancer. I think the Duchess would be delighted to know her first grandson -- Jerry Anthony Rossi-- is featured in the Van Zant video Help Somebody, now ranked number 16 on the Country Music Television channel. You can see the video at vanzantmusic.com or at launch.com. Jerry is one of the two little boys representing the Van Zant brothers as boys playing with their grandparents.

The Twelve Pathways

1. I am freeing myself from security, sensation, and power addictions which make me try to forcefully control situations, thus destroying my serenity and keeps me from loving myself as well as others.

2. I am discovering how my consciousness dominating addictions create my illusory version of the changing world of people and situations around me.

3. I welcome the opportunity, even if painful, that my minute-to-minute experience offers me in order to become aware of the addictions I must reprogram in order to liberate myself from robot-like emotional patterns.

4. I always remember I have everything I need to enjoy my here and now, unless I am letting my consciousness be dominated by demands & expectations based on the dead past or imagined future.

5. I take full responsibility for everything I experience here and now for it is my own programming that creates my own actions and influences the reactions of people around me.

6. I accept myself completely here and now and consciously experience everything I think, feel, do, and say as a necessary part of my growth into higher consciousness.

7. I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to communicate my deepest feelings since hiding in any degree keeps me stuck in the illusion of separateness from other people.

8. I feel w/ loving compassion the problems of other people w/out emotionally getting caught up in their predicaments which are offering messages which they need for growth.

9. I act freely when tuned-in, calm, centered, and loving, however if possible, avoid acting if emotionally upset and thus depriving myself of the wisdom that flows from love & expanded consciousness.

10. I am continually calming the restless scanning of my rational mind in order to perceive the finer energies which enable me to unitively merge with everything around me.

11. I am constantly aware of which of the seven centers of consciousness I am using and feel my peace, love, energy and effectiveness grow as I open all my centers of consciousness.

12. I am perceiving everyone including myself as an awakening being here to claim his or her birthright to higher consciousness planes of unconditional love & oneness.

Moving Right Along ...

Undergoing for the most part, a remarkable transformation. Feel positively focused on creating here in this blogspace and on my site. I owe a tremendous amount of gratitude to Byron, who kept much of my old site, including my novel and Duchess, when I gave up my own domain years ago.

Amazed that my CD is still there out. And available for download in places I can't even imagine. I haven't heard from Orchard in years. Haven't received any money in a long time. *Shrugs* It's Saturday. Not much work today, so I concentrated on this web site, and my site. And so moving right along ....

UPS Special OPS

Really, I'd like to pour myself into this blog, but hell there just isn't enough time. As long as I'm special operations for UPS--an endeavor that brings in good money, writing just isn't worth it.

Still, I'd like to get back into writing. Among my big projects still pending:

• Self publish P.S. Kiss The Duchess For Me
• Self publish Double Down
• reignite my career as a free lance writer
• film my own reality show via digital cam corder called "Austin Courier."
  
  

Really, I am enjoying the courier work. I say UPS Special Ops, because in the realm of what UPS does most--delivering packages--the sonic air shipments I deliver are the most expensive and the most time sensitive. Still this blogging could be fun. In the future I plan to comment more on UPS Sonic Air, current issues, life, love, God, Iraq, and the like, so stay tuned.

After a few false fits & starts

I have a new weblog. My last weblog met an untimely fate at the hands off earthlink. Hopefully this weblog will be around for awhile!