If only I could channel my thoughts

If only I could channel my thoughts from throughout the day. There's so much I'd like to do with this blog but by the time I am home, I am pretty much wiped out, mentally, to really create the kind of expositions I am yearning to do.

So many topical issues. So much going on. The tragedy in Louisiana, so close to Austin, yet a world away. The price of gas is through the roof. I am about to the point, where I am going to quit driving till it comes back down, and stay home and write and hope to make a go of it, and see what happens. Seems like I am getting some hits. It's hard to tell from where, but I appreciate folks stopping in for a readsy.

Much on my mind. What's up with Marshall Nagle. How about Ken Whiteley? Is he still playing guitar? Suzanne Sellers???

Got a letter from Eric and Margaret. They're in Latvia, Eric's ancestral homeland. Hi guys!!! Thanks for the card. Makes me think about Judy. She has family in New Orleans, her mother I believe. I hope she is OK!

Ok, that's all for now.

Just yesterday morning I heard you were gone ....

Actually, kind of amazed and grateful that it would seem people are reading my blog and commenting on some of the things I have to say. Also, am aware it might come across as a big WHINE. Oh, sometimes I need to get things off my chest.

How about Matthew Kahler??? Old friends indeed. I love this man’s music and every time I hear James Taylor on the radio, it kind of breaks my heart, because I came across Matthew’s website and have tried contacting him several times, and it’s like he can’t bother. Shrugs. Ironic because the song I hear most is “Fire and Rain.”

Still, Matthew is great. Whatever. Check out his website at www.matthewkahler.com

Then there’s Sean Hennigan. Rocky tells me he’s mad at me about something, not sure what, but Rocky don’t want to get in the middle of it.

Heard from Dave Osti and that just blew my mind. He saw his name on my list of names and dropped me a line. The man is a fantastic musician. Coming into contact with him brought back tons of memories.

It's about the sex, stupid!

What was the slogan in Clinton's 1991 campaign? A similar slogan occurs to me these days--almost every day--when I'm confronted with the daily news of violence related to the middle east. Because for me, I think it's about the sex. About the love. About the umpteen virgins in the afterlife. People capable of such suicidal destruction have no joy in this life, no feelings of connectedness. Even sexuality is buried beneath a veil, the burqa. The flesh is evil and imprisoned. These people are miserable because they hate their bodies, their own corporeal nature and the demands of the flesh.

They have no jobs, no livelihood, no hope. Is it no wonder they see martyrdom then as a way to say "just fuck it all!" It's about the love stupid, or lackthereof.

Anyway, A lot is going on, and as well I'm extremely busy. The video "Help Somebody," by the Van Zant brothers, is number 2 on the country music channel!!! Jerry is one of the two little boys; the littler one.

UPS is keeping me pretty busy. I'm always amazed at the mixture of emotions I feel for working for UPS. Sometimes, it's all about the people, the different people I interact with everyday. The sense of teamwork and camaraderie. At the same time, there is always the sense of being taken for granted. I can't believe the price of gas these days. I wonder how the people who are responsible for how we are compensated, can sleep at night, knowing that they have done nothing to offset the deep impact the price of gas is having on our pocketbooks!

I got an email from Dave Osti. Amazing. Fucking amazing. What an amazing musician. His email brought back a ton of memories. How we had him play drums in the studio for Heaven Can't Make Up Her Mind. All the memories. Fuck. Ok that's all for now.

the Gigi spot

the Gigi spot

In-N-Out Burger: What an Austin hamburger could be about!

I keep having this recurring fantasy that somehow I am able to convince the famiy that owns the In-N-Out hamburger empire out of Baldwin Park Calif. let's me open up a store for them in Austin Texas, where I have been living for the past ten years. Everytime I go out to California for a family visit, I can't count how many times we stop in for a Park-N-Wait burger. I say that with tongue in cheek because regardless of how much I love In-N-Out burgers, they're name is
very misleading. It's more like In-N-Wait-Wait-Wait-Out. But it's oh so worth the wait.

And so I envision the massive lines and profits, as I manage the company's one and only store east of Nevada. I checked the website and no, they don't franchise. I suppose if I could get them to trust me, maybe they'd let me open up a store, but it seems like the empire is limited to three states: California, Nevada, and Utah. And from what I can tell the only way I could gain their trust would be to provide proof of church attenance and quoting the proper biblical scripture, as the owners are reportedly quite religious, and print cryptic references to biblical scripture on their packaging.

So until my next trip out west, I can only dream. And to my fellow Austinites, no Whataburger doesn't even come close, nor does Dan or Fran!

Beyond The Grave

Beyond The Grave

One of the first articulate and real blogs I've come across. Seems like there's a form of blogspam out there: sites that really are just advertisements. Finally, somebody real.

P.S. Kiss The Duchess For Me

As I explore this blogging experience, I hope to illustrate and outline some of my projects and concepts, and new ways to share and promote them. Many are familiar with the book about my grandfather-P.S. Kiss The Duchess For Me-and though I have it linked to the right, as a way to keep it fresh I am experimenting with the link feature in my posts.

One day I hope to publish it in a hard volume. On one of my trips home I came across a complete copy of the manuscript as well as correspondence documenting the lengths to which my late mother, the duchess, went to in trying to get it published and/or turned into a movie. Included is correspondence between folks such as Tom Brokaw and Stevenn Spielberg's production company. And that is what strikes me the most about it, when I read, that it really is a classic story just begging to be turned into something more!

The Missing: A Names Project of Sorts

What a long strange trip down memory lane. Below is a list of people in my past; people I remember as friends, acquaintances, partners perhaps in musical or literary endeavors. Friends from my days at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, or the Pasadena Weekly. Band members, girl friends and one night stands. Platonic, and otherwise, the list goes on. And then there is the online world; with countless faceless strangers I came to know only as lines on a screen, a pen name and the abstract product of their minds: their words, in that transitory, fleeting virtual social scene called cyberspace. This list is far from complete and will continue to grow as I brainstorm and look back on the past decades. If you’re on the list, you may even be somebody I’m still very much in contact with. I wanted to be inclusive as well as comprehensive. Some names and faces gave way to others in sort of a free association. Often the last name eluded me. Or even the whole name. Or maybe all I have is your online personality.

Hopefully, maybe some of these folks will stumble across this blog while doing a search on their name. Others may have already passed on. And that is the sad thing about life, as you grow older. There is less and less time to play catch up with old friends. Some friends to me are virtually dead i.e. I'll probably never see them alive again and that in a way invokes an ongoing sense of mourning. It's like you never had the chance to say goodbye. So if you're name is on this list, then you're someone I still remember, still remember fondly, and I hope you are faring well as you grow in life. Think about dropping me a line or email. I’d love to hear from you.

• Doug Maas
• Leslie Mylius
• John Temple
• Ken Whiteley
• Marshall Nagle
• Tami Bond
• Mark Comings
• Scott Comings
• Bob Greenwald
• Vicki Anderson
• Janie Richter
• Maceo Campbell
• Dane Johnson
• Dan Hirschi
• Jody Powell
• Shannon of the Presenters
• Jay with the wild mohawk
  
• Terry Burke
• Suzanne Sellers
• Andrea Kelly
  
• James Martin
• Reagan Young
• Goo
• Trish
• Jeff Lasee
• Carnival Dog
  
• Patricia Tree Gladwyne
• Pamela Rasada
• Lee Ann Kelly
• Teresa Peterson
• Greg Harrington
• Ted Bishop
• Jim Archibald
• Michele Bauer
  
• Russell and Cathy Masunaga
• Jeremy Bates
• Greg Bishop
• Billy Kohn
• Jerry Montanino
• Rick Swanson
• Jim Burhans
• Bruce & Kecia
• Matthew Kahler
• Robin Hurt
• Jeff Skaletsky
• Geoff Martin
• Sean Hennigan
• Rocky Armstrong
• Warren Brunelle
• The Craig that worked at JPL
• Doriandra
  
• Craig Bartholomew
• Lisa Cox
• Mike and Shelly Newman
• Shawn Adams
• Dave Feldhouse
• Rick Ballou
• Robb Shinn
• Dawn Tamarabuki
• Michele Bauer
• Jamie Jameson Buehler
• Kerstin Hege
• Michele Broder
• Chris Broder
• Donna Skinner
• Dave Osti
• Marci
• Amy Armstrong
• Kim Smiles And Allen, of course.
  
• Phillip
• Ben Lovejoy
• Rick Garabedian
• Andy Annas
• Steve Seine
• Chris Wing
• Dan O'Heron
• Rich Gowen
• Michael Wenzel
• Brian Sierant
• Mark Hill
• Melanie Horton
• Tim Horton
• Tish Horton
• Bob Hezlep
• Andy Livingston
• Steve Gormely
• Kevin Steger
• Devin Thomas
• Robb Shinn
• Mary Tartaglione
• Dave Davis
• Ross Curtright
• Gary & Jack from JPL
• Eric the Street Poet From Berkeley
• Nancy from JPL
• The Bubble Lady from Berkeley
• Sue Overman
• Jeff Wood
• Ann and Jeff Krogen
• Bill & Sharon Weisman
• Lori Hardy
• Judy Desmoreaux
• Margaret & Eric Jeurmanis
• Brian Markovich
• Arnie and Sherry Greif (Fractalvision)
• The Cubensis Crowd
• Byron and Sylvia Velasquez
• Geoff Gwynn
• Bill Sweetland
• Adriana Galvan
• Besty Dabbs
• Stella Blue
• Raelle Soares
• Sea Angel
• Cadillac Jack
• JT Westfield
  
• The Mininsters Daughter
• That happy black deadhead from the deadshow parking lots
• Mark Ferris
• Poe Sparrow
• Crystalheart
• Skye
• Sally
• Maggie McGill
• The Wharf Rat "Wharfie"
• Eric who worked at Sony with Brian
• Craig Marshall
  
• Chief Broom
  
• Cindy Price
• Don Franklin
• Joe From Common Denominator
• Sillohuette
• Zephyr
• Love Child
• Smiley
• Quemby
• Matthew Kahler
• Arpi From Ozland
• Lance Powell
• Diane Rodriguez
• Trish Powell
  
• Heidi Nakamura
• Glenn Holland
• Tim Hagelganz
• Bill Evans
• Serena Wild Love
• Andrea from FLA
• Ernest Rubio
• Chris Bray
• Burt Voorhees
• The Presenters
• Coda Jada Queen
• Hyperview
• John Range
• Gary Pittman Jr.
• Lawayna
• Jeremy Goode
• Carlos
• Chris S.C.
  
• Mike Mulligan
• Lisa Green
• John Willis
• Diane Caputo
• Sherry
• Tammy Trips
• Billy Dale
• Mark Masonovich
• Nadine Patterson
• Lori Phaff
• Ravenshadow
• Thomas the Poet from the Golden Days of Dchat
• Bardman
• Debbie from MASS (kevin's beau)
• Beth Scully
• Eric From Sony
• Eric Rittenhouse
• His hot sister
• Scott whatshisname first drummer for looking blue boyfriend of his hot sister (Shawna?)
  
• all the people I am forgetting that will be on this list tomorrow.
• shit I know somebody that i shouldn't ...
  
• and more names tomorrow ...
  

And so I sit here amazed at my own continued awakening to my self awareness here inside this three dimensional theater of life. It's a fleeting sense of being a part of something greater, beyond me that is in the process of moving itself forward through the parade of history towards apocalypse, the Big Bang but an image glanced at in the rear view mirror. And I am a part of that which happens in between the alpha and omega. It's like I withdraw into what Ken Keyes Jr. calls the witness center where I am just watching my own self as well as how my self interacts with other. And it's like I can't really remove myself from the play, and the words of the song The Wheel by Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead echo in my head: You can't hold on and you can let go, you can't go back and you can't stand sill, and everything time that wheel turn around, we're bound to cover just a little more ground.

Disneyland: The most expensive place on Earth!!!

Disneyland: that destination of all destinations in Southern California is by far the most stressful place on earth along with the most expensive place on earth, especially if you're traveling with those that Disney caters to most: children.

As I remarked to my sister it's amazing how much they'll charge you for admission in order to enjoy the privilege of paying $7 for a tall slurpie, $3 for a bag of chips, $30 for a t-shirt that cost $2 to make. Add to the mix the demands of children going in every direction at once. He wants to go to Toon Town; she wants him to go on the Pirates of the Caribeean; he thinks that ride is too scary. The nephew needs to go the bathroom.

I'll tell you what's scary. Paying $5 for a Big Mac at the Paraside Pier inside the new California Experience. Ironic, because our hotel sat right door to a McDonalds, across the street from the park. A big mac there was the normal price.


Random thoughts

• Obviously, Alberto Gonazles, Bush's A.G., is pro-choice. I never read it anywhere but all of a sudden, the man most Democrats did not want to see become attorney general, is not the darling of the right, and folks such as Harry Reid, are singing his praises as a possible Supremie.
• That sick, twisted fuck, Joseph Edward Duncan III, MUST have wanted to get caught. Clearly, marching into Denny's at 2 a.m. with Shasta, in the same town she went missing from, was either calculated or incredibly stupid. I say the former in what I believe is a step he is making towards his ultimate goal: his own demise. I am still against capital punishment, but I wouldn't blame the father one bit, if he walked into this guy's cell and sent him on his way point blank.
• LONDON, England. Here's what I can stand about religious fundamentalism. Get the fuck over it! What do you think you will accomplish. And quit it with the Allah Akbar crap. Killing people is not something God is about. And that goes for you who would have God nailing his son to a cross to atone for mankind's sins. I just don't get it. Why on earth is the Prince of Peace, the God of Love, so freaking blood-thirsty in your minds. May I burn in hell for asking, what's so bad about peace, love & understanding?

MCI--The Worst Company of the Month, the Year, possibly All TIME!

My wife worked for MCI for the past five months or so! What a horrible, demeaning and insulting outfit to work for. She was let go yesterday, because she failed to make her "lines" for the cycle. A line is a sale of their services. The company continues to telemarket its services via pushy, heavy-handed sales pitches. Those who fail to make their lines are humiliated with a mid-day termination, in front of other employees.

My wife tried extra hard to make her lines, by working late, going back in after she put our daughter down to bed. Get this: at one point my wife took a day off because Alexia was sick. She was reprimanded for "not having her priorities in order." A friend remarked to me when I told her the story, "Apparently she DOES have her priorities in order!"

She laughs when she talks about how she got her mother to switch to MCI, only to have her mother switch back to SBC, after MCI failed to live up to its promises. I think that explains why making lines for the company only gets harder and harder. They have a lousy product. Period. So they continue to drive their employees to snag new customers. My advice to you: When MCI calls, just HANG UP THE PHONE.

Meditation Versus Prayer

I am beginning to realize the greatest spiritual practice is mediation. If prayer is sort of talking to God, I would characterize meditation as listening to God. Calming the restless chatter of your mind is key to tuning into the bigger picture of who/what we are, and escaping the selfish demands of the Ego.

A friend of mine asked me to pray for her. And while I am inclined to oblige her, I tend to question its true usefulness. I do think prayer can be powerful because I put in the same category as "think good thoughts." It puts out a good vibration. But I shy away from the idea of God as some sort of magic genie there to respond to transitory requests of favor. I think perhaps the most appropriate prayer is not for external events, but for inner peace, wisdom and understanding.

I might add, though, in the interest of full disclosure, that I am apt to ask this friend to pray for me. I guess because this makes her feel that she is helping out, and doing what she believes is the appropriate response in the situation.

But still, as Jim Morrison says in the intro the Soft Parade, "You cannot petition the Lord with Prayer." To me this means, that the divine is not some sort of magic genie ballot counter, as if prayers were votes or signatures on a petition drive.

Your comments?

Movie Madness

Well, we can see that the box office is in a slump. I think that is just fine. In fact it is quite a come uppance for this industry, which has exploited movie goers for years. Who among us is not tired of being gouged at the snack counter with $2 cokes, $3 popcorn, and $5 hot dogs? $7-$10 the price of admission?

In the age of Clarkanomics (Yes I'm a big Clark Howard Fan) doesn't it make more sense to give a new film a few months to go to video and then it rent it. You do the math. A movie costs how much per person in the theater? Contrast that with what you will pay to rent it multiplied by however many people want to see it. Store bought popcorn, sodas and snacks, even full blown meals!

Yes, this is welcome news indeed!